Music
Noise

MIxed_up ME

Mixed_up me Collection movie by Nada Van Dalen

This is a collection about losing your mind in life and work. When you lose your mind you have to look back on your earlier ideas to find out what the cause is and what you can do better.
When you lose your mind, your head is playing tricks with you, time is changing; it goes fast and slow. The sound of the world is different, you are different, the world around you is different. You have the feeling your are stuck.
The collection started with writing down all the thoughts that were going through my head during two hours:
“I will die a slow dead soon – Am I okay – let me know if the light is off – I'm ugly – I'm afraid to kill you – I will lose my mind, and this time for real – Am I worth it – my heart beats – do I have a brain tumor– I will fuck you – Am I worth something in my work – I'm a cliché – it's not good enough – panic – your arm is not in the good place – I'm in a movie – Let me count your fibers – I need you – let me get your brain – Am I able.... – I have to look – I'm addicted to this feeling – I want to be you – what if..... – what are you thinking about me – I 'm in my head – do I have more than work – Alone – Afraid always for nothing – I need to work more and more – This is poison – Let me Hurt, I need to hurt – My head is shrinking – I need to be there – Everything can be true – Everything can happen to me – I'm I like they are – What am I without this feeling – I need food without stains – I'm too little – can I make this – I hope that death is shorter than life – I need to order – happiness feels wrong for me – I need scary images, so I feel better – I cannot breath – I want to fall in love for the wrong reason – I'm going to die –Am I real – let me feel – let me die – I want peace please – I'm so happy – I'm I to personal – Why do people want to hear this – can I go to sleep – I will kill you – Panic – Why are people so perfect – will I make it to the end of the street – My dog wants to be with her – Why don't people see that I'm smart – I need to lock – I need to think – it's my own fault – I need to work – I want this man – I’m less than her – I need to drink to be fun – maybe there is LSD on this clothes – There is a man in my house – Alone – Fearfully – I need to do it alone – I cannot go there – happy is scary – I will lose my mind – my brain is playing tricks with me – can I be more – Is this on the right place – Fear is running with me – how do I get rid of my stains – I'm too small – I'm waiting for my man – There is beauty – I'm so happy, why – Are you a killer – Can you trick me – Is she crazy – Let me know – was that the right way – I'm I okay – Fear – I'm used to the pain – Will I be something– Why I'm telling this – It's blue – Can I still move – Let me Fuck you – I'm pitching above my head – Is that the border – Did I do this – the house will break – I'm strong – Stained vegetables – hair up hair down – am I here – I will die soon – I'm I lying – Let me do it differently – There it is – Let me go – let me be – Let me highlight – There is happy again – check my eyes – I need a cigarette – I will die – let me stand still and rot – go away – I hate myself and you too – go fuck – let it be pink again – I'm not shiny – sssssssmurf me – he is talking – why I'm I so goddamn pathetic – beat me – Love me, true me – you would not be myself, you want me or his – tension day – why you, you – I will die – Happy you – my heart is getting bigger – you – It's poison – no – beast me – I need cheap thrills – my key leg is shaking – I'm locked – You need to leave me – I want away, but I can't it's me – tension tight – I get what I see – I will die – hazy way – Fear – zoom – I need control – my empty head – I will get it my way – I will be stupid – Let me die – I don't want to eat, it's potion – I need to get the blankets straight – I will die – I will get crazy – Anxiety love – best friend of me mister fear – Life is.....Nada – I lose my mind with my imagination, but I need it to – me totser – Fear – When can I stop this battle – I will die – can I really lose my mind – Do I really have to do this day – I cannot get used to rest – Leave me alone – I have a brain tumor – I need a cigarette – I have lung cancer – Am I good enough – Is my work special – do I need to do this – error – I don't want to eat this, it's poison – Fear – Leave me – It's so Beautiful – Alone – let me die – I need to check my eyes – I don't want to lose – PANIC – fear – I don't want to anymore – leave me alone – everyday I'm fighting – can I do this? – Can I get you? – why do I still live here – I’m too small – I hate this pills – Why do I need to work on everything – Is there someone behind me – Leave me alone – I need an orgasm – I kill you – that's too fragile for me – I need to – I want you – Is this real – my body will cease – Is this world real – Let me die – Me happy – When it's coming again – FEAR always – can I get it right – Am I good enough – I do something too – Is it bad to make mistakes – Can I be really someone – Can I still see – Panic – Is this stopping one day – Leave me I'm ill – I will die – I need to check my eyes – Panic – I will lose my mind – I need to know more – I need to work more – It's not perfect enough – do I take this to serious – Leave me alone – Can I get to the end of the street – I need to go – I am a burden, but this is the only way for me I know – FEAR – Is there someone who loves me – Panic – everyday that way – I will die – I'm happy again, but for how long – I need to check my eyes – This is good for working – I am aware of my death drive – I'm a marvelous persona – I'm evil -” NADA

This was really confrontational to see, and scary to show to other people. It's the most naked you can be.
When I look back on my collections, it's always that nakedness that comes through.
My life and work are not separated.
I think if you make work out of real emotions and stay close to your own mind, you can make interesting work that makes people think.
For me the most important thing in my work is to make people think about there lives when they see my work. But not in moralistic fleeting way; it must confuse you, so when you are back home you will still be thinking about it.

There is also an activist in me, the Nada activist. Nada is my activist name but also my real name. Life is...............NADA. I use my name in 3 ways. I write my name on my clothes with a black marker. It's my signature in a narcissistic way, that explains in a fundamental way why we make art: we want to be immortal.
Also, ‘Nada’ means ‘nothing’, which stands for life and art are not being important.
Nada also has another meaning and that's ‘hope’; hope for everyone.

The most important thing in my work is the examined life. And the dark side of it. I think it's important to be aware of yourself to be able to make good work. The way of knowing yourself is the most interesting, beautiful and painful, in order to undergo and show in your work. Life is not supposed to be easy.
“is to go down the spiral staircase of the tower into a great darkness, into a Piranesi darkness. It’s not all sunlight. But one must try and do it. And unless you are prepared to go down that staircase, then you inhabit a "marionette", you inhabit a “fait commedia” of the self. And no one else can do it for you, no psychoanalyst, no father confessor, no therapist, no crying therapy, no group consciousness exercises in the California uplands, no LSD. You damn well have to try it and do it yourself, sitting alone on a rather uncomfortable chair, with no help, and saying: “Who the hell was responsible for what went wrong? Answer yourself, answer yourself.”
And to me a great education, the final justification of the education, is if you force yourself down those stairs and if you come up again – certainly damaged, certainly deeply saddened and disturbed – but that you do not take refuge either in blaming others, or in blaming society, or in blaming some organic defect – my God, we will soon have viruses of stupidity – the stupidity is only one’s own.”
George Steiner

The concept is shown in my collections in the prints and shape of the clothes. The print and the material are a metaphor for the concept. In this collection there are prints and materials from all the former collections that I’ve made.

There is the wood print that I call knock on wood, from the saying that you have to knock on wood if you don't want something bad to happen.

There are the marble prints, as hard as stone: you are in a mental state that nothing can get to you. But also the print is something you see when you have a fever dream.

There is the hair print from an animal, that stands for mankind sometimes still being brutish.

The blue print is a moldy carbon paper, it's stands for the way history repeats itself in its cruel way. And blue stands for state “I'm a blue”.
Then there is also the failed label ribbon; that's a medal for everyday life.

The shape of the clothes are from clothes that have a stained history; cloths from the war and from activists groups, like bomber jackets. I Iike playing with them and puting them in another context.
I like to use techniques that are used to make work clothes and uniforms: they are strong and beautifully made.
In this collection there are famous blood stains in the shape of the clothes, from killings that where done by crazy people.
What always comes back in my collections are the belly bags build in a dress or trousers: you always carry your emotional baggage with you.
The lines of my armholes are always cut the old school way: straight with a triangle for moving. This stands for the way we are thinking as a human being, the intellectual way and the emotional way.

LIFE IS................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................NADA

“A certain degree of neurosis is of inestimable value as a drive, especially to a psychologist.

Every normal person, in fact, is only normal on the average. His ego approximates to that of the psychotic in some part or other and to a greater or lesser extent.

Like the physical, the psychical is not necessarily in reality what it appears to us to be.

Neurosis is the inability to tolerate ambiguity.

The act of birth is the first experience of anxiety, and thus the source and prototype of the affect of anxiety.

The goal of all life is death.

The goal towards which the pleasure principle impels us - of becoming happy - is not attainable: yet we may not - nay, cannot - give up the efforts to come nearer to realization of it by some means or other.

The mind is like an iceberg, it floats with one-seventh of its bulk above water.

The psychical, whatever its nature may be, is itself unconscious.

The psychoanalysis of neurotics has taught us to recognize the intimate connection between wetting the bed and the character trait of ambition.

We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love.

We have long observed that every neurosis has the result, and therefore probably the purpose, of forcing the patient out of real life, of alienating him from actuality.

What we call happiness in the strictest sense comes from the (preferably sudden) satisfaction of needs which have been dammed up to a high degree. “

Freud

“Fear is the mother of morality.

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.

It is always consoling to think of suicide: in that way one gets through many a bad night.

Madness is rare in individuals - but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule.

Morality is the herd-instinct in the individual.

One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.

One ought to hold on to one's heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too.

One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.

Whoever battles with monsters had better see that it does not turn him into a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. “

Nietzsche

“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone.

Satisfaction consists in freedom from pain, which is the positive element of life.”

Schopenhauer
“The idea that happiness could have a share in beauty would be too much of a good thing.

To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright. “

Benjamin

LIFE IS............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................NADA

COMMENTS
Post Comment
Thank you! Your comment is awaiting moderation.

Related